I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about what my wants, needs and wishes are.
Let’s face it. I’ve been pretty depressed.
And although I’ve got a pretty good reason to be, I also know that I’ve been depressed since long before my mom got sick and she and my dog passed away. After a long talk, slight yelling match, with my husband on the weekend I realized what it was. I didn’t know how to put into words what my wants needs and wishes were. It bothered me that he was able to do it and that I felt that he had no idea what my wants needs and wishes were. And then I realized I couldn’t blame him – because I didn’t know what they are.
Our discussion, slight yelling match, really forced me to actually speak out as I truly had my husband’s rapt attention.
And you know what it was that I wanted/needed? My own space.
Our house has always been “our space” but my husband has “his office.” There is no space that is truly my space. I felt like the areas that I had tried to make mine, were really overshadowed by other things. It didn’t help that any furniture or electronics that I brought into the relationship slowly and surely made it’s way back out of the house. There are now only a few pieces that are still remaining in the form of bookshelves.
When my husband and I bought this house, he claimed one room for his office. I’m perfectly fine with that as he does have his own business and needs space to work. I never really thought that I needed anything as our other bedroom “the spare room” was ultimately slated to be a baby’s room. Well since nothing is happening in that department – I’ve decided that it’s time I claimed some space for my own.
And so on the weekend, I started cleaning out all the junk in our spare room and setting it up so that I have space to go and do my things. I’ve got tons of stuff pinned on my Pinterest that I really want to get making and creating. This will officially allow me to do that.
Even though the room isn’t completely finished, I’m so proud of what I’ve done already. I already feel like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I can see my things in my own space. I can breathe. I can dream. I can wish.
It’s amazing what having your own space can do for you.