Taking my life into my own hands

I am one of those people that actually really liked going to school. It was always an opportunity for me to have a new start. New friends, new classes and teachers. It would lead to new adventures. So with all those back to school sales and advertisements I couldn’t help but feel the need for change this year.

About a month ago I reached one of those lowest of low points in my life. I felt alone and I felt disgusted with who I was. I haven’t been that low in a VERY long time. After a night and day full of tears and sadness, my sister, husband and closest friend helped me to come back to this world. They helped me see my value and that I was loved. Showed me that they are just three people of many who would notice if I wasn’t on this earth before. It wasn’t that I was dying or even thinking of ending things, but I was at an incredibly low point. I really owe them my life after being there for me.

I’ve been feeling depressed for months. I felt like I had no control over my life and part of that was because I internalized everything. I didn’t want to burden anyone with what was going on inside me. I didn’t want to ask for help. But then I did. And now I feel loved and supported. I’ve learned to let go of those holding me down and I’ve been thinking outside the box as to how I can overcome the obstacles in my way.

First I dyed my hair red. Well it’s red-brown with blonde hi-lites underneath. That lifted my spirits and soon I was spending time with my sexy lady friends. I started exercising and laughing at myself. My laptop died and that freed me from having technological chains attached to me at all times. To help me still be connected, the hubs let me use the iPad and I’ve now been able to be anywhere in the house and be connected. One of my biggest worries came from the laptop and how hot it ran all the time. Now that it’s gone I’m not as sad, worried or hot!

I’m looking forward to seeing the fruits of my labors realized. I’ve already seen some changes by losing a few pounds, laughing more and it’s been really nice having people want to make time with me.

I am blessed to have a wonderful family behind me, great friends supporting me and a whole lot of love coming from an amazing man that I have had the pleasure of being married to for nearly 3 years.

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