I spent this morning with my best friends and I was reminded again how having multiple best friends is better than only having one best friend.
It is great having a best friend. Do not get me wrong, having a single best friend can be great. But it can also be incredibly hard work. Over the years I’ve had many times where I only had one best friend, but in those times I found that I always felt guilty doing anything with other friends. I felt like my best friend would feel completely left out if I didn’t do everything with them.
And then there came the not knowing how much time is too much time to spend together. And how often do we need to talk for us to still be best friends.
My husband has accused me of making friends too easily sometimes. This has bothered some of my former best friends. They didn’t generally have the same experience and would feel that I wasn’t being true to their friendship because they felt they were being left out.
Having 4 best friends right now, plus my husband who is I suppose my true best friend, means that they all know about each other. They don’t get mad when I spend time doing something with the other and they can hang out together without me. We all have different relationships with each other, and I’m sure some of them don’t even count the other as a best friend. But they are best friends to me.
In 2011 I lived through one of the most heartbreaking and difficult times of my life. My best friends were all there for me. They brought me wine and food. They sat with me while I tried to rationalize what was going on in my head. They silently encouraged me and checked in on me to make sure that I was okay. And they were there for me in ways that I don’t even think they knew about.
Their stories and adventures kept me going. Their willingness to take me out of my shell and to get me laughing even when I didn’t want to, all meant so much for me. It was a simple twitter message. A simple posting of a picture on facebook. It was fairly regular emails. It was cheesecake on a patio. It was a glass of wine, a cooler full of food and a glass of wine.
I kind of closed myself off last year. But my friends didn’t care. They were still there for me. If I needed them, they’d be there. They were there in the days, weeks and months of my mom’s dying. They were with me in the days, weeks and months afterwards. They have been there for me and I hope that I have been able to let them understand how important that has been to me.
Having a singular best friend is a great thing. But many is an even better thing, and I’m incredibly lucky because I’ve got the absolute best of them. Friendships that just get better as we age and as we experience more and more together. Like a fine wine, my friends just get better with age.
So to my best friends, I love you all. Thank you for making my life better, for always being there for me and for ALWAYS making me feel loved.